What To Expect In The First Year As a New Parent

The first year as a new parent changes your life in ways that no one can anticipate. It is wonderful and full of love while also stretching you to grow in new ways. I want to share my experience so that you can be confident entering your first year of parenthood.

I love being a parent and I can’t imagine my life any different now!

When my son was born we got to hear about how other people enjoyed being parents and the stories they have treasured.

There may also be people who share their views on parenting that you don’t agree with and learning to leave those words behind you is a skill to master.

I want you to feel prepared as much as possible for every moment great and small!

I hope this article helps you feel prepared, confident, and gives you idea for discussions with the people in your life.

What does Postpartum Recovery or Birth Recovery look like in the First Year as a New Parent?

I was fortunate to have an uncomplicated birth. I did not have a c-section, so I cannot speak to recovery from a c-section.

If you did have a c-section, remember that it is major surgery and give yourself time, grace, and space to recover.

Ask for Extra Supplies from the Hospital

Take home those ice pads they give you in the hospital. I asked my nurses if I could take a few extra home and they let me, so please take home extras of what you will use!

Those ice pads are great and I definitely was glad that I had extra at home. The numbing spray is also a wonderful resource. I didn’t end up using all of it, but it was really nice to have for emergencies.

I recommend getting the Frida Mom Post Partum Kit. It has a lot of helpful recovery tools and a gown for the hospital that was wonderful during labor!

Postpartum Recovery for Your Body

Your body will bleed for multiple weeks, just like it would on your period, but longer. I did not have any pain that was worse than any normal cramping after labor.

Remember that your body has a dinner plate sized wound inside and you just delivered your new bundle of joy. You are amazing and I hope you feel powerful!

Take it slow if you can, but when/if you want to try something more active, I recommend gentle yoga and walking.

Postpartum Recovery for Your Mind

For a while, it can feel like a rollercoaster of emotions. You can look at your little one with so much love and joy one minute and the next start crying because the remote is 3 inches too far away.

Your body is transitioning from being pregnant to having a newborn and your hormones are shifting a lot. Be patient the hormone rollercoaster will end eventually!

You are also sleep deprived. In the beginning, my husband and I took turns taking 3 hour naps in the hospital and my labor was over 2 nights. Then we were waking up every 3 hours to tend to the baby.

It took over a year for me to feel like I came out of ‘the mom fog’ that I had been in for about a year and 3 months.

The first year as a new parent is a whirlwind of emotions and firsts and you are literally trying to figure out how to do all of it for the first time.

Try to find some time to do the things you used to do. The things that help you feel like a separate person from your baby. That helped me feel like I was moving into a new normal, even if I only got 10 minutes to myself.

Be kind with your mind and body because you are entering a new experience and phase of life.

What does Sleep look like in the First Year as a New Parent?

Everyone complains and jokes about how you will never sleep again. That is NOT true.

There will be bad nights, but there will also be great nights.

I choose to co-sleep after reading Sweet Sleep by La Leche League which I discuss in this article here. Co-sleeping is not for everyone so please read the book to make an informed choice for yourself.

I stay home with my son full time. I am so grateful that I can stay home, because I don’t want to be anywhere else.

For the first 3 months, I got up every 3 hours, but we were in bed for 10-12 hours a night. I got enough sleep, even though it was broken up.

After 3 months, babies switch to more adult like sleep cycles. They need it to be dark and they wiggle or stir more in their sleep to check their surroundings.

When my son transitioned at 4 months to more adult sleep cycle there was a few weeks where we woke up every 90 minutes. We were still in bed for 10-12 hours though, so I still felt like I had enough sleep usually and if I needed more I would take a nap at the same time he did.

Sleep After 4 Months

When children of any age are going through a growth spurt they will sleep less, because the brain learns new things in light sleep.

As your child grows you will have different phases and cycles of sleeping less and then sleeping more. Teething, physical milestones, and mental milestones all cause your baby to sleep less.

Usually what will happen, is there will be a week where you feel like you aren’t sleeping enough at all and it will be followed by a week where your child is sleeping a ton to catch up.

Most of the time you won’t know what they are learning until it is over. It is hard to be patient as the rough phase passes, but the joy of the new milestone is so exciting to celebrate!

Stressing About Sleep

Sleeping is not something we can control in ourselves and we cannot control it in our children. Being stressed about your kids sleep can be difficult for you and your child.

Provide the opportunity to sleep in a dark quiet space and they will take it if they need it. If they refuse, get up and try it again in 30 minutes or an hour. They will sleep when they need it!

The culture in the USA is all about timing your child and measuring to make sure they are doing the exact same thing as most other babies.

We measure their sleep, the amount they eat, their diapers, and so on. It is stressful for us, as parents, to track it all. It can make us feel like if our baby isn’t doing exactly like the doctors suggests they are behind.

That isn’t true! Your baby is learning at their own pace and that doesn’t mean your baby is behind at all.

What if I told you that in the UK babies are only seen by a doctor after birth at their 1 year appointment and they have a lower infant mortality rate? If the UK trusts parents to take care of their babies for a whole year, maybe we can trust ourselves to do it too!

No one knows your baby like you do. If you have serious concerns about your baby, talk to your doctor. Otherwise, please find a group of parents or books that choose to parent the same way you want to!

Talking to people who are at the same point as you, or who are a little ahead helps you feel less alone.

Relax friend. They will sleep when they need it. You are doing a great job, because you care.

What does Nursing look like in the First Year as a New Parent?

Because I stayed home fulltime, I chose to nurse on demand. I never pumped in my child’s first year of life, because I never planned to be away from him.

Nursing Before Solid Food

You get recommended to feed your baby every 2-3 hours in the hospital.

If you are breastfeeding, then your baby will not wait 2-3 hours to eat. They will demand food every 30 minutes or less. Sometimes you will nurse them for 2 hours straight because they want to.

After talking to an international board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC), I found out that you want to feed babies when they have hunger cues, which is all the time. Typically if a newborn is awake, then they want to be eating.

My son latched every 30 minutes for at least a month. Then he latched every hour. As he got bigger, he was able to last longer between feedings.

Not only did he latch every 30 minutes he also nursed for 30 minutes to an hour every time too.

I watched a LOT of TV, read books, and was VERY sedentary for a while, because that is what my baby needed from me.

By 5 and a half months old he was nursing every hour to 90 minutes. It will get easier with time!

How do I Know when to Switch Sides While Nursing?

At one point my pediatrician told me that I should be switching sides every 10-15 minutes and that I shouldn’t let him “use me like a pacifier”.

However after a discussion with an IBCLC, I learned why babies have pacifier behavior and it is needed.

Babies need their mothers as pacifiers because our body produces the same smell as their amniotic sack. We literally smell like home to them; in this large, loud, scary world.

We need our babies to use our bodies as pacifiers, because it helps your body know how much milk to produce. Their stimulation helps us make sure that we are producing enough milk for our precious one.

Please read the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La Leche League, which I talk about in this article here, if you are interested in learning more about nursing advice.

Everything Happens in Cycles

There are cycles when your baby is more fussy and less fussy.

When they are learning something, sick, or teething, they may want to nurse almost constantly. It will feel like you are going backwards, but it will end. Your baby just needs you more right now.

Try to get as much accomplished in the beginning of the day. Babies are more patient when they are well rested and get grumpier throughout the day (just like us!).

Use the beginning of the day to get stuff done, so that by the end of the day you can sit and nurse as much as your child needs to.

Nursing Pain

Nursing is uncomfortable in the beginning. Sometimes it is painful, but not anymore than period cramps are.

I got nervous about how much nursing would hurt, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. New parents assume it will be constant pain, but it isn’t.

It is normal for nursing to hurt for 30 seconds in the beginning of the nursing session, but then the pain will go away. The painful latch will go away as they grow.

If it does hurt constantly, please call a lactation consultant in your area for help. You can google it or talk to your hospital, but you can also use this website to help you find a lactation consultant near you.

Nursing After Solid Food

My son loves solid food. He loves to smoosh it, eat it, spread it all around, and paint with it.

When he started solids, he went longer between nursing’s. At a year old he waited about 2 hours between nursing, but sometimes 3 if he was entertained.

Nursing starts to look like a climbing wiggling exploration after a while. Your baby is trying out new skills while nursing and sometimes that means nursing while they are extra wiggly.

A wiggly baby is a great time to start to set any boundaries you want to have. I don’t let my son pinch me. I hold his hand or jiggle his arm to keep it busy when he wants to pinch. Your baby will do many things while nursing, that give you the perfect opportunity to start holding boundaries.

What does Play and Toys look like the First Year as a New Parent?

In the first year, your baby does not need any toys at all.

The Big Dreams of New Parents

We all want our babies to be brilliant, above average people. I have never met a parent who says, ‘I want my child to just be average.’

We have these big dreams as soon as we know the child exists. They could be the president, or change the world, or get a Nobel Peace Prize. This is a lot of pressure on us and our beautiful, pooping, and screaming babies.

To help us feel better, kids toy companies market fancy toys that light up, make noise, and are annoying while saying that it will make our baby smarter than the rest.

The Reality of Toys in the First Year as a New Parent

Those toys do too much and, honestly, they don’t get played with. My son received a few light up singing toys.

I appreciate the toys and was excited to set them out. My son plays with each of them for maybe 5 minutes, and then goes back to the blocks because he can do more with the blocks.

Often he ignores toys altogether and just wants kitchen utensils. I had to dedicate a spoon to him because he would scream if I took it, and eventually, it ended up in the toilet. . .

I know. . . Disgusting. But that is parenthood. It is the unexpected at all times!

He loves when I let him explore any (unplugged) appliance. His favorites are the mixer, the flour mill, the electric kettle, the toaster, and the instant pot.

As I said earlier, your baby does not need any toys. Your household things are fun, exciting, and tough to move around. As they get older they get more and more interested in whatever you are doing because you are all the fun they need.

If you really want to get your baby toys in their first year, focus on toys for the car, and a baby jungle gym similar to this one.

The baby jungle gym is great for entertaining the baby while you try to scramble to accomplish anything for a few minutes. It is even pretty entertaining for them when they crawl, because then they try to rip it apart.

Save your money on toys for when it will actually matter to your child. They will enjoy their first year without any of them.

You are the most important toy of all. You are the best playmate they could ask for.

What Advice do you Have for the First Year as a New Parent?

Let us know in the comments down below, what you wish you had known as a new parent!

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